Sep 29, 2014
-Stay in CONTROL, the POWER of ignoring-
Todays post is something I never blog about. I want to blog about the power you have of ignoring people. I thought about it and I figured it could help someone out so here goes. Friday morning me and a good friend filmed a short film we had planned for about two months. Were both actors in the L.A area trying to put together material for our demo reels. It was a long, fun shoot and it took us about 9 hours straight to film it.
When we finally get done, my friend offers me to go out and get something to eat. We go to Denny's on Wilshire/Vermont and when we leave I run into a rather interesting individual. As I get in my car and proceed to leave out of Denny's exit I have my blinker on to turn left. Of course there is heavy traffic and I have to wait until traffic clears for me to turn left. Well the lady behind me wants to turn right and is quite impatient.
After about a minute she blows her horn, mind you she can go around me and leave if she'd like. She then proceeds to get out of her car, walking up to my car yelling "All I'm saying is you need to turn right!" I made the conscience decision to not even engage in any argument whatsoever so I just simply ignore her and keep my eyes on the traffic in front of me waiting for it to clear so I can turn left. She then makes remarks about me being scared and starts cursing me out. I continue on to ignore her and keep my eyes on the traffic ahead of me, waiting for it to clear so I can turn left. She then takes it a step further by making gay bashing comments towards me and my friend. Traffic finally clears and I turn left, heading to my desired location.
When you ignore people, especially when they are being very ignorant, you make them more angry than they were before. You have the complete power over the situation and over them. A lot of people mistake kindness or ignoring as a sign of weakness for some strange reason. What they fail to realize is that YOU have control over them. Responding only makes things worse and you give them what they want. I was doing some research and discovered that its all ego driven. All this get up in your face, Im ready to fight nonsense is all about an ego and it steams form past situations that has absolutely nothing to do with you. In my research I found that most angry people have a victim mentality. They perpetually feel the world owes them something and other people must fulfill their preferences or needs.
The lady wanted to have her way by making me turn to the right and it just wasn't going to happen on my watch. But I didn't have to say a single word to her for that to happen. After the incident, it bothered me for awhile. It didn't bother me that she called me names or cursed me out, it baffled me because I thought to myself, "How can someone get so easily angered and take it to that kind of level?" I mean, honestly it's not that serious. Again, she could have easily drove around me and went where she wanted to go.
It takes something this tiny for someone to get out of their car and want to fight a complete stranger who has said nothing to you? Wow. I guess that's the point of that ego. Wanting to prove that "Im the big, bad bear, hear me roar!" type of mentality. I think naturally, as part of being human we all want to respond to get our point of view across but sometimes it's just not even worth the energy. It won't do anything at all. The other person only sees it their way and if you add that on top of them already highly angered, your sure to just waste your time arguing. I write this to simply say to STAY IN CONTROL. You have more power in a situation of altercation than you think when you ignore and stay in control.
This situation made me think back to grade school. In middle school I remember being so badly bullied against, one day I came home just in tears and had a nervous break down. Going to school everyday was hell for me because the bullies lived in my neighborhood and I had to look at them every morning getting on the school bus and every evening getting off the school bus. In between that, during classes it was a little better. I still got made fun of, of being a "sissy" or a "faggot" but it was a little better because I had teachers who were always looking out for me.
People hate to see two things, thats to see you smile in the midst of attempting to break you down and for you to ignore them. That's exactly what I did. If that wasn't worse enough, succeed at something, you will really make them turn blue in the face and explode. I was bruised a lot but never broken. In middle school, I wrote the yearbooks dedication to Sept. 11th, was apart of Leadership Council (I can't believe I remember this stuff lol) was apart of the school play, and always had honor roll. I find it funny that nothing really changes in life except age. Just like in middle school, there are still bullies out there, people wanting to see you fail, people calling you names, speaking ill of you behind your back, being fake towards you, etc. It's so easy to give into what the world wants.
Every reality show you are displaying females trying to prove themselves by making sure they get a point across that "Im the baddest" or "I'll fight you at any point in time" type of attitude. This is what the young girls are watching and thinking that is okay to be like, especially in the African American community. Most of US are on there simply put, acting a FOOL. But that's another topic for a different day lol. Anyway people, Keep SMILING, remain in CONTROL and do what it is that you do best!
Sep 25, 2014
I love it when H&M has collaborations with other designers. It's nice because when designers collab with H&M it's set at a particular price point that is available to everyone. I remember the last collaboration with Versace and all the rave that was behind it. I remember driving all the way to Atlantic station shopping center in Atlanta because I HAD to have my hands on them. The line was ridiculously wrapped around the store. By the time I got inside the store there were a few items left. Luckily, I found everything I had wanted from the collection. This collaboration with Wang will probably be the same. I want look 5's top, ALL of look 7, and look 10's top. Its set to launch Nov. 1st, 2014.